I close the doors and the windows

Put on my cloths, button up

wrapping in a choking scarf

Bind my eyes,

fill my ears, my nose with propolis

and you can`t come in  in any way

through air, bacillus, through whispers and voice

that you do not come in in  any way

to be forgotten, evaporate.


I think up wails in honour of you

and do away with you with the thousands of graces

prick your cadaver on the toxic and passionate arrows dunked into my love

drag your body to the basement

muggy and cold, lightless and without HS

leave you there as the feed for rats

and after you I cry like a little child

saying uncared and unused speeches in your address

generally love-natured speeches

the padlock of the door looking at me doesn`t understand whether open or not(close)


the staircases ask-“Shall  we pull down,HS,or…”

no pull down-mull down,-I say it rather indifferently and peacefully,- become soil and dust.

and looking up at the sky in order not to allow my tears to pour out drop by drop


And with the full eyes I don`t see but feel

that this hour sun is my docked head

that I bleed about you with this sunset, as everyday

like a dutiful state worker

at the end of the day forgetting about both me and you

and keep on forgetting from Abovyan street to the North Avenue, it`s not difficult to guess

that you observing me on the far will come up purposely and insidiously

I`ll greet you half-heartedly

with a not seeing look that you won`t understand-

it was me  who yowled in my diary that

not to kiss your lips is as the same as do not have lips at all,

that I thought up wails in honour of you

and plaited numberless songs

it wasn`t me, my dear

it was you

it was you that pricked my body on the toxic arrows of your love

it was you that rejoiced at your successful hunt with the wild luster in your hungry and shining eyes

Emitting throat sounds, and my bleeding body

was swinging peacefully and indifferently, indifferently and peacefully

on your brawny shoulder

with the putrid smell that was quite a love

with a docked head which couldn`t see, but feel that

I was bleeding about you, you, you………….


Author`Hasmik Simonian


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